A profound characteristic of a deep friendship is that it is faithful. This means a quality of presence that can be counted on over time. It means an innocence of heart that remains open even in difficulty. It means a trust that whatever befalls us; our friendship can be understood to be about mutual development. In the marriage ceremony we say for better or for worse. In a consecrated friendship we might say in trust that Spirit is taking us deeper into life.Faithfulness is a virtue that can tolerate disappointment and difficulty. It makes us human persons instead of mere individuals. Faithfulness is not some kind of blind acquiescence and acceptance of one another. Faithfulness has muscle. It has duality built into it for we need to be faithful to our own inner truth as well as to support the truth of our friend. This may challenge us to be true in opposite directions. In that tension the new in both of us can be born.

The ability to bear tension with vigor and equanimity is what makes music of relatedness. Think of a guitar and how its strings must be fastened at two ends and must be strung to a bearing pitch. It is only possible in that condition to play the instrument and to sound a true note. In a deep friendship we cannot escape that our hearts have to be tuned frequently. We will be asked to confront one another at times, to say yes and no clearly and to love each other through conflicting desires.