I’ve always loved the old English meaning of the word suffer. You’ve heard the line from the New Testament, “suffer the little children”. It translates to allow. What a deep mystery, that at its core, suffering is about allowing.
Phrases Posted on Facebook, September 2023
Even while suffering we can have a sense that we are more than our pain and that at the core of suffering there is yet the possibility to feel joy. Many people have expressed this and written about it. The surprise that inner joy has not left us when we suffer is very human and a reason for humility.
Have you noticed that when you suffer it can feel like forever? Yet it is also an invitation to begin something you have not realized as yet. We are held in paradox. Because we can’t get away from suffering (drugs not withstanding) we are led inward to find something that is radiant and belongs to us.
Keeping suffering a secret we are in danger of living in deep darkness. Though it is ours to work through individually, it is more bearable when we are in relationship with others giving and receiving support. Shared suffering is the house of compassion. Aren’t we meant to enter and to live there?
The thing about suffering is that it forces us to pay attention. We may add our disgust, complaints etc. to the moments we suffer. That makes suffering personal when in fact suffering simply is and not something that landed on us like a curse. We are the ones who turn it into a curse. How we manage suffering is hard, deep and can be ultimately liberating.
It’s not unusual for us to suffer our suffering. It can be an intense “poor me” feeling. It can also be the realization that something we once did or didn’t do has caused part of what we now suffer. Then self-compassion is called for . . . not blame, nor shame or excuses. We take up the truth and do the best we can.
Sometimes suffering is the only catalyst for necessary change. Can it be seen that way? Can we take up the challenge to begin to act with compassion? It only takes one step to start a new and beneficial direction. Step by continued step we can recover our courage and the dignity to face what is difficult.
We suffer not only our own suffering but also the suffering of others. We are inextricably one and are deeply affected by one another whether we feel it or not. There is no end to the compassion needed for this.
Scripture tells us that Spirit also suffers in us and with us and is vulnerable to pain and grief. To consciously participate in life as a vulnerable person is the deep task of genuine change and the most likely path of healing.
Here is a wonderful quote from Agatha Christie. “I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow; but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.”
Wisdom comes to us after integrated suffering. Our capacity for compassion deepens. We see and clearly know that everyone suffers. It makes us humble and just a little bit more careful of others, of ourselves, of animals and of the natural world.
There is in almost every life a suffering that belongs to us. It’s themes keep surfacing, asking us to go deeper, to digest its lesson. Though tough to bear, it is part of our wholeness. There’s no point avoiding it for it will show up again and again until we’ve loved it to death.
Many people believe they have to suffer in silence. Yet when they finally dare to share what is happening to them, they take a first step into their own heart and into the heart of hearts we all share and have need of.
We may never fully be able to embrace and know what comes to us through suffering. The school of suffering is “a-little-at-a-time” and we’ll always need to hold each other’s hands to graduate.
Acceptance of suffering opens us. Resistance only wears us down. Broken open is so very different from broken down.
